Today is the 18th of April and like any other 18th, this month is a special one as it commemmorates Me and Jerwin's 12 years of being together. Though our relationship has been up and down for the past 12 years, we still make it to a point that we greet each other happy monthsary on 18th of every month.
But my kids were still wondrin' how our love story started so I told them this story..
One day, on my college senior years, something negative came up on my social work fieldwork in Baguio City. 4 mos before graduation, I need to transfer to another placement so as to complete my course requirements. The place Tanglaw Pag-asa Village, Tumana, Sta.Maria came into picture and a week later, I was starting my fieldwork there meeting up parents and organizing them as a community. The place is just an hour away from home but I need to stay in the community for deeper integration with the people.
And so I met Jerwin....
He was the second eldest son of Maya, one of the parent I'm working with. As I personally know Maya's background and her life story as well, her son Jerwin didnt catch much of my attention. I havent seen him as well with the few times that I visited Maya's house. I was told that he's always with his friends drinking, smoking and luring all the girls in town and would either befriend with boys younger than him or males extremely double his age.
And so I saw him one day....
As I do my normal rounds in the community with Maya's oldest sister, Rhoda, she called for Jerwin in one of the groups of boys around midday. There was a casual introduction of hi and hello and followed by Rhoda telling him that its too early to get drunk and be wasted. Hmm...first impression was he's cute with his long hair, fair complexion and chinita eyes...but too much drinking. a big NO! However, that introduction were followed by simple conversations and meetings in Maya's house. He appeared to me as an interesting out-of-school youth with a lot of experiences and would definitely produce a fascinating social case study report after applying my casework skills.
The way he gave me a pink rose...
One day, while walking in the community, a child gave me a piece of pink rose. It looks like it was freshly picked from somewhere's garden. As I as asked the boy whose that from, he looked at a direction and saw Jerwin standing near a bunch of wasted boys, smiling and waving his hand. I didnt take that one seriously but it made me feel something. He then approached me and asked me if he can drop me off to my house the following weekend. I said no but he kept asking the same question. Then, I said yes, hoping that he wont remember anything thats been said and done once he's sober.
And I was wrong...
The next Saturday as I am walking towards the tricycle terminal with a big bag, someone grabbed my stuff and walked with me. There's Jerwin, smiling, normal clothes, sober. I tried to use all the tactics and reasoning for him not to go wth me, but he's persistent. And so I said yes again. On our way home, we talked about a lot of things. He asked me if I can show him Barasoian Church as he has never been there before and only seen it at 10 peso bill (hmm. trying to be religious). Anyway and so we prayed at Barasoian Church and as he finished his prayers, he grabbed my hand and told me that he loved me with God as a witness. As he has his own way of persisting with things, I'm like enchanted agreeing to be his girlfriend at that moment. All the logic and rational reasoning suddenly disaappeared and there I am, inside the church, with only some "kilig" feelings with this guy, suddenly said yes to be his girlfriend. That was April 18, 1999.
I wanted to take it back...
So he was so excited with the yes and I was so confused with it. I don't know what's on my mind at that moment and I tried many times to take it back. Though he was making all promises, Im not sure if its worth giving a try. But as I saw his perseverance not to drink anymore, his effort in finding a job to support himself and me in the future, his sweetness in giving me more pink roses, his truthfullness in telling me everything about himself, his courage to face my family with no job and qualifications at hand and his undying love and care for me, I started to be excited and saw the future for us... I started to miss him so much the moment we said goodbye. I started to feel empty with bunch of friends laughing, wishing he's always by myside. I started to be contented staring at him without any words. And I started to live my life for him. And so the rest is history.
And so here we are, living our life with two sons and one on the way... Still arguing and still devating about certain things. But one thing is for sure, we would always remember 18th of the every month and still greet each other with a smile. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PANGGA!!!
Sunday, 17 April 2011
Thursday, 14 April 2011
Proclamation 101
Pangga: Magsisimula na naman tayo sa umpisa...
Gian: Baka hindi ko na sya makalaro kasi malaki na ko nun...
Nyle: May iba ka nang bunso...
These were some of the reactions from my family (after saying yehey!!!) when I announced that Im pregnant. Yes. I am pregnant. After 9 years I'm going to experience having a baby again. It's quite different this time because I know I'm not getting any younger. If before I was so innocent asking what morning sickness is, now, its a totally different story. Its a struggle waking up in the morning to prepare breakfast for the kids, and even more effort to drag myself to work (especially that I'm working with historically violent kids of New Zealand descendants).
But what I found funny is that suddenly, my statusquo in our house suddenly changed. Just before the announcement, I am always into growling mode with Gian and Nyle's laziness. The dishes still stack up in the kitchen, floors not vaccumed, toys everywhere, clothes hanging in all places and plates still on the table. It's like sermon day everyday. And suddenly, a drastic transition happened with just a simple proclamation, "BUNTIS SI MOMMY!". The two boys now wash the dishes, keep their toys in the container, vacuum the floor and put their clothes on its place.
There's always more laughter in the house as well. If one of them was playing up, the other one will say, do you want the baby to hate you, huh? or dont stress up mom and the baby. It also makes me laugh when at this early stage, they were already thinking of buying clothes for the baby and thinking what name to give her/him. (actually, its more of a her because they all know that I dreadfully wanted a baby girl). One time Gian said that he wanted to name "her" Nyanne Angela if she's a girl,which is a mixed up of all our names. Pangga asked where's his share and Gian said, "she got your surname! We all laughed! Of course, reaction is quite different when it comes to my bunso Nyle. He's more in need of assurance that nothing will change with my love with him and he will remain my bunso for the rest of my life. Both of them started to ask a lot of question about the baby and this gave us an extra bonding moments. Its also amazing that my kids have scientific knowledge about where the baby come from and not the usual parents' lies that baby fall from heaven or that we picked them up from a carabao's poo.
The baby is not only an additional member of the family, but he/she indeed changed my kids life. They're more excited than ever. Though they have some doubts like their first reactions, they know that the baby will bring more fun in the family. They now know how to be sensitive with my needs and how a pleasant environment will help the baby grow normally. They are now planning for the future and determined to share their stuff to the baby.
For sure, the baby will know that this two little boys' voice and Pangga's one as well, all cared for her/him from the first knowledge of his/her existence. He/she will be assured of the love and care that this family has to offer. If only he/she can speaks now.... thank you kuyas!
Gian: Baka hindi ko na sya makalaro kasi malaki na ko nun...
Nyle: May iba ka nang bunso...
These were some of the reactions from my family (after saying yehey!!!) when I announced that Im pregnant. Yes. I am pregnant. After 9 years I'm going to experience having a baby again. It's quite different this time because I know I'm not getting any younger. If before I was so innocent asking what morning sickness is, now, its a totally different story. Its a struggle waking up in the morning to prepare breakfast for the kids, and even more effort to drag myself to work (especially that I'm working with historically violent kids of New Zealand descendants).
But what I found funny is that suddenly, my statusquo in our house suddenly changed. Just before the announcement, I am always into growling mode with Gian and Nyle's laziness. The dishes still stack up in the kitchen, floors not vaccumed, toys everywhere, clothes hanging in all places and plates still on the table. It's like sermon day everyday. And suddenly, a drastic transition happened with just a simple proclamation, "BUNTIS SI MOMMY!". The two boys now wash the dishes, keep their toys in the container, vacuum the floor and put their clothes on its place.
There's always more laughter in the house as well. If one of them was playing up, the other one will say, do you want the baby to hate you, huh? or dont stress up mom and the baby. It also makes me laugh when at this early stage, they were already thinking of buying clothes for the baby and thinking what name to give her/him. (actually, its more of a her because they all know that I dreadfully wanted a baby girl). One time Gian said that he wanted to name "her" Nyanne Angela if she's a girl,which is a mixed up of all our names. Pangga asked where's his share and Gian said, "she got your surname! We all laughed! Of course, reaction is quite different when it comes to my bunso Nyle. He's more in need of assurance that nothing will change with my love with him and he will remain my bunso for the rest of my life. Both of them started to ask a lot of question about the baby and this gave us an extra bonding moments. Its also amazing that my kids have scientific knowledge about where the baby come from and not the usual parents' lies that baby fall from heaven or that we picked them up from a carabao's poo.
The baby is not only an additional member of the family, but he/she indeed changed my kids life. They're more excited than ever. Though they have some doubts like their first reactions, they know that the baby will bring more fun in the family. They now know how to be sensitive with my needs and how a pleasant environment will help the baby grow normally. They are now planning for the future and determined to share their stuff to the baby.
For sure, the baby will know that this two little boys' voice and Pangga's one as well, all cared for her/him from the first knowledge of his/her existence. He/she will be assured of the love and care that this family has to offer. If only he/she can speaks now.... thank you kuyas!
Monday, 11 April 2011
Kids wannabe
10:33 a.m. New Zealand time. This is my first attempt to write a blog about anything. And I just don't know what to write and how to start it. I've been thinking about the idea 2 weeks ago after I read some of my sister's blog. She is a good writer and expressed herself freely on her blogs.
Last night, my eldest son Gian was telling me something and when he noticed that I'm not responding, he said, oh nagprapray ka mum? And I replied, "I'm just thinking of a good name for my blog." Gian started to laugh and gave me some words like trippin, mum on the go, Its All About me, and some words which I already forgot, all pertaining about being a mum. I told Gian I like Aphrodite's name to appear on my blog but he reasoned out that not all people know her and that I need something interesting because this is gonna be a www. site.. Whew! Just by hearing that from my son makes me nod and think, where did Gian's intelligence come from? I'm not that techy person so to speak. I don't know much of computer stuff. I only know how to open my FB account, write email, chat with friends and family and that's it! Don't ask me of the trouble shooting stuff because you will just find me useless on that part.
My sons Gian and Nyle are the expert on these things. Though Nyle is learning slowly with his Kuya's help, he too, can navigate the worlwideweb freely. And they seem to agree and enjoy same things, online gaming!
Though Nyle, 9 y.o., is more musically inclined, Gian whose now 11 years old is more of sporty person. As my sons grow up, I felt the need to learn myself. While Nyle is attending violin lesson, I would keenly observe and remember the notes for I know I need to pratice Nyle back home. And how can I know if he's doing right if I don't even know how to read c,f,d notes? And when Gian wants to play soccer in preparation for a tryout while dad's busy at work, I need to step up myself! As a mom, I am now obliging myself to learn these things. I thought that when your kids grow up, they're gonna learn by themselves and you'll be back to your single days again. But that's a NO NO. If youre not into your kids world, its a subtle way of pushing them away to find friends whom they can share their interest.
As for me, I wanna grow with the kids. I wanna learn what interests them. I wanna be on their world that I've been once in my life. (And who didnt even has a thought that childhood days were the best days of our lives)I wanna support Gian and Nyle to whatever they wanna be. And I will just be by their sides, no matter what and no matter where their destiny take them.
Last night, my eldest son Gian was telling me something and when he noticed that I'm not responding, he said, oh nagprapray ka mum? And I replied, "I'm just thinking of a good name for my blog." Gian started to laugh and gave me some words like trippin, mum on the go, Its All About me, and some words which I already forgot, all pertaining about being a mum. I told Gian I like Aphrodite's name to appear on my blog but he reasoned out that not all people know her and that I need something interesting because this is gonna be a www. site.. Whew! Just by hearing that from my son makes me nod and think, where did Gian's intelligence come from? I'm not that techy person so to speak. I don't know much of computer stuff. I only know how to open my FB account, write email, chat with friends and family and that's it! Don't ask me of the trouble shooting stuff because you will just find me useless on that part.
My sons Gian and Nyle are the expert on these things. Though Nyle is learning slowly with his Kuya's help, he too, can navigate the worlwideweb freely. And they seem to agree and enjoy same things, online gaming!
Though Nyle, 9 y.o., is more musically inclined, Gian whose now 11 years old is more of sporty person. As my sons grow up, I felt the need to learn myself. While Nyle is attending violin lesson, I would keenly observe and remember the notes for I know I need to pratice Nyle back home. And how can I know if he's doing right if I don't even know how to read c,f,d notes? And when Gian wants to play soccer in preparation for a tryout while dad's busy at work, I need to step up myself! As a mom, I am now obliging myself to learn these things. I thought that when your kids grow up, they're gonna learn by themselves and you'll be back to your single days again. But that's a NO NO. If youre not into your kids world, its a subtle way of pushing them away to find friends whom they can share their interest.
As for me, I wanna grow with the kids. I wanna learn what interests them. I wanna be on their world that I've been once in my life. (And who didnt even has a thought that childhood days were the best days of our lives)I wanna support Gian and Nyle to whatever they wanna be. And I will just be by their sides, no matter what and no matter where their destiny take them.
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